I read recently that the root definition of the word vacation is “to be in a vacuum”. Not that I would want to be there permanently, but a little R&R away from most things normal can be a very good thing. Wishing you laughs, dreams and stars.
A Saturday morning well spent…
This morning I woke up and said to myself, “I am going to go hear some great speakers today.” I was correct in that intention.
I had been given a ticket to an event in Minneapolis. A friend, Mary Traecy O’Keefe was to be one of the speakers. I went not knowing what to expect, but with high hopes and good intentions for value, enhancement and affirmation of my own message. I was not disappointed.
I heard LeAnn Thieman, Mary and Naomi Rhode speak. All 3 professional speakers, each of them gave a powerful message of hope and transformation. Each of them has written at least one book and talked about how adversity – narrow spots – had brought about transformation in their lives. Each of them inspired me to keep sharing the message that I carry – Don’t just go through, grow through the narrow spots of life.
This week I will head to TX to speak and do workshops at the Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio. I will return to receive an Angel Award from The Angel Foundation. I am so very grateful for both of these opportunities. I continue to keep both feet on the floor and send out gratitude. It seems to be working.
What does it feel like to have your calendar running your life. I have not so fond memories of times when I felt confident that if the weather and my car held out, I could make all of my appointments. Then I discovered the reality of the notion that I do control my calendar! I am the one who enters each and every appointment, reminder and engagement. (I have heard that there are businesses where your calendar is on the computer and people can add themselves without prior acknowledgement! Not good in my book.)
So…my calendar is not out of control, but I am feeling overwhelmed by deadlines from time to time. I look forward to each commitment – and remind myself to be present in each encounter – but, truth be told, I am a bit over-extended this month. Every opportunity is worthwhile and exciting, but also new and involving extensive preparation and focus.
What is there to do? Breathe – Just Breate
Happy New Year!
As I reflect on this past year, I am first and foremost grateful for all that has transpired – yes, ALL. Certainly there have been good things, too many to list without sounding boastful. And there have definitely been negative things, too many to list without sounding disheartened. And then there are all the things in between, not seemingly worthy of listing at all.
Reflection is a good thing. Past experience informs how we move forward; and that is the key – to move forward. So at this time, in this new year, I reflect on all that has gone before, with gratitude for the life experiences that have brought me to where I am in my life journey. And I set the intention to let go of the past, to strive to be in touch with my authentic self, and to be present in the here and now. In doing so, I hope not to miss a minute of this remarkable journey of mine – my life.
I attended a memorial service today. It was a celebration of the life of Charley – a warm, kind, talented, generous, wonderful man, husband and father; who died, too young, from pancreatic cancer.
One of the good things about cancer (the list is very short!) is that it gives you time. Time to say what wants to and/or needs to be said. Time to create memories, albeit bitter-sweet ones. Time to talk about what might happen after you die. You can add to the list. Charley and his family did all of these things, and more.
The service, held in a beautiful Methodist church, was beautiful. Charley loved flowers – the flowers were glorious. Charley loved music – the music (choir, organ, oboe and congregational singing) was beautiful and meaningful. Charley had a stunning sense of humor – there was abundant laughter amid the tears of sadness. Charley was real – 4 people spoke, each from a different aspect of Charley’s life and each shared stories, from those different perspectives. No surprises. Charley was Charley, no matter what the perspective. The ministers were inspirational and profound. Charley was a Child of God who has passed into the peace that passes all understanding. God’s grace was abundant and palpable in this celebration of a life, too short, but well-lived.
May we all be so fortunate.
Life is full of challenges – narrow spots. Have I said that before? Those narrow spots may be big or small, include crisis and disaster, occur by accident or design and/or be positive or negative. So what is the big deal?
The big deal is that you get to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances. That is what Viktor Frankl says in “Man’s Search fro Meaning”.
I am speaking this weekend at a spring luncheon for a group of Lutheran women. I talked to the organizer recently and she said that several people had asked if my comments – telling my story, sharing the message that I carry – was going to be depressing. Now I ask you, is confronting a challenging narrow spot like cancer and the amputation of your dominant hand depressing? What would make it so? Muse on that for awhile.
Yes, it would be depressing if I were a person who wallowed in self-pity. Yes, it would be depressing if I sang a song of lament over having to change dominance and learn to do so many everyday things in a new way. Yes, it would be depressing if after being given the opportunity to choose life, I decided to wake up each day with a sense of dread and foreboding about all of the things I can or do not do anymore. But that is not the message!
The message is that each life journey is unique and you do not always get to choose the path you travel on that journey. The message is that if you are willing to make the effort – at times an enormous effort – to face each day with a sense of wonder and an intention to be present to whatever your journey has to offer that day, you will eventually move forward on your path. The message is that you do not travel alone. You have the resources and the opportunity to ask for help at every step of your journey. That help may come from treasured friends, wise elders, spiritual advisors, therapists and/or healing practitioners from a variety of modalities. It may come from books, classes, retreats or lectures. Wherever it comes from, the choice is yours to accept and acknowledge it; use it as you see fit.
You get to choose everyday. Tomorrow when you wake up – acknowledge the opportunity to face whatever comes your way with persistence, patience, enthusiasm, gratitude and grace – actually you get to decide how you acknowledge the gift of another day. Do not waste time in self pity – there is not purpose. Whatever is – is. Move forward when you can. Rest with an open heart and a qwuiet mind until that forward movement reveals itself.
Namaste. Be well. Be whole.
“We must never forget that we may find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation–just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer–we are challenged to change ourselves.”– Dr. Viktor Frankl ~ Author of “Man’s Search for Meaning”
The Omega Institute is a well known center for wellness in Rhinebeck, NY. I had the distinct privilege of being part of the faculty for a weekend program entitled “Living Well With Cancer”. Not only did I have the opportunity to share time with some rock star presenters, but I had the remarkable honor to share space with 100 individuals who live with the reality of cancer in their lives as patients, family, friends, caregivers and/or healthcare professionals. The energy was palpable.
I was given the responsibility as the “closer” to weave our collective experience together in some meaningful way. The collective content inspired (“breathed into) those present to access their bodies, minds and spirits to create a healing environment for themselves, unique to their journey, using all the resources they could muster, external and internal. I was told my message accomplished that goal admirably. I am grateful.
It was my honor to add my Amen to what transpired there. It was truly a remarkable experience. Namaste.
I heard a speaker recently who described himself as an “irritational” speaker. I love that idea, I wish I had thought of it! Sand is an abrasive, and even a small amount irritates when it is present in an unexpected way. The root definition of the word inspire is “to breathe into.” I hope that I have inspired you to breathe in even one grain of sand from this message, and that it will provide some irritation to an attitude that you might hold about healing and change. You know what happens to the oyster when sand gets in? It makes a pearl.
Yes, someone said that to me soon after my surgery, 8 years ago. I still see and speak to that person on a regular basis. I have confidence that it was intended as a positive statement – meaning that because I was not occupied in some employment or vocation that required two hands, my adaptation to one-handedness was “easier” than it might otherwise have been. Think about that for a moment….lucky?
I recently had the opportunity to watch the movie “Soul Surfer”. It had been recommended to me, but I had neither the inclination nor the curiosity to do so. However, a long airplane ride provided the perfect opportunity. So I watched it.
For those of you who may not know the movie, “Soul Surfer” is a 2011 American drama about the life of surfer Bethany Hamilton. In 2003, at the age of thirteen, Hamilton lost her left arm, just below the shoulder, to a shark attack. The film details the events surrounding this attack and her struggle during the aftermath. The film is directed by Sean McNamara, who based the screenplay on Hamilton’s autobiography of the same name and on the filmmakers’ interviews with the family. The title refers to a term coined in the 1960s to denote someone who surfs purely for pleasure, but the word soul has a double meaning as a reference to Hamilton’s Christian faith, which helped her recover her surfing career after the attack. AnnaSophia Robb stars as Hamilton, and Dennis Quaid and Helen Hunt star as Hamilton’s parents.
I cried, of course. The movie gave me an opportunity to experience a grieving moment, recalling the real feelings of waking up without a part of your body and dealing with the reality of what that means. I thought the film did a good job of showing how many things in life appear to be two-handed. Adjustment, adaptation and acceptance are the key to moving forward. The film also expressed the real feelings of frustration and joy at being able to set priorities on when and how life’s activities will be put back into place. I am not a surfer, I am not even a swimmer; but I do understand the effort and determination it takes to feel independent, confident and “whole”.
Bethany Hamilton’s experience, as well as Aron Ralston’s (the young man who cut off his arm to save his life after a hiking accident) happened around the same time as my amputation. They both appeared on the television and told their stories of undaunted, courageous response to adversity. At the time, I thought I was lucky. Now I speak about my experience and understand that luck has nothing to do with it.
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